Well, I have not been cooking much lately. I must finish this paper for my Genetic Anthro class. Only a few more weeks left in the semester and I can finally finish my Anthropology degree. I had completed all of my coursework back in 1999, but left one class without completing a research paper. I had an A in the course. It was called Cults and the Millenium. Perfect topic for the Fall of '99 when everyone thought the world was going to end as the digits turned over to 2000. Remember Y2K? Anywho, I never completed my research paper and received an incomplete which eventually turned into an F. Because failed coursework does not apply to a degree, I found myself 3 hrs shy of an Anthro degree. Well as time passed (10 years), the requirements for the degree changed and I now needed to complete 6 hrs to obtain my degree. This was no biggie to complete while I also studied pre-med. But, now that I have discontinued my venture into pre-med, my only goal for returning to school will be to FINALLY complete this degree. Then, I plan on working toward an associates degree in nursing. I would pursue a BS in nursing, but then I run into the same issues I did with pre med. Full time course work and no money for full time day care. Also with pre med, if I did get into a medical school, it means leaving Austin and expecting my husband to find work elsewhere to support us. He has really carved out a career for himself in sound design for video games. He has his own career ambitions and it really was not fair of me to expect him to bail on his career so I could pursue becoming a physician. Plus, now that I have been spending more time with my children, I cannot imagine being so dedicated to medicine that I pass up these precious moments with them. Maybe I can still pursue medicine later, when they are in elementary school. Never say never. But, for now I am excited about my path. However, while working on this research paper, I find myself so consumed and fascinated with the world of biology and genetics. In another life I would love to use my background in Anthropology and my love for biology to pursue a career in research, academia, and medicine. My husband often mentions his analogy of life to archery. He tells me I am in the process of pulling back my arrow and aiming on a target. But, the truth is, I have set down my bow and arrow in order to teach my little ones how to use their own. For the moment, I am not really worried about my own bulls eye, I am worried about cultivating their aim in life. I know that I am young and I have time ahead of me to pursue a career, but for now, it is their time to shine and it is my job to polish them. As much as I love science and academia and as much as I want to prove to myself and the world that I can redeem myself from my party girl days by becoming some bad ass career woman, the truth is that time has passed for me! At least for now. When my children are older, I have faith a career will culminate. For now, the real reward is ensuring my children do better and have better opportunities. It all starts with me paying attention and getting to know what makes them tick. All of my life experiences have come together for this moment. I look forward to completing my degree and spending my time re-building my massage practice. I actually thought I was done with massage for good. If you had asked me a year ago, I would have said that I would be totally bummed and feel like a failure if I had to keep working as a massage therapist. But, I now appreciate what massage has meant for me and having time away has been good. I feel revived and look forward to adding more modalities and knowledge to my practice. As time permits I want to give back by volunteering for hospice. I am not sure what I will gain from volunteering for hospice, but I feel very drawn to do this. As well, I want to learn more about eastern modalities like Chinese acupressure & thai massage. I used to work for a massage business that trained me really well in deep tissue but I often found their approach one dimensional. I often felt limited to one type of client and unable to broaden their theraputic experience by applying other methods than deep tissue. Even though deep tissue is extremely effective and I am grateful for the training I received, I know I have more to learn. When I quit, I knew it was necessary for my own growth in order to become the massage therapist I am meant to be and find the clients I am meant to connect with. After leaving that job I was fairly successful in building my own business. But because the majority of my clients came from the connections I made while working at my previous place of employment, I found I had the same limitations. I lost my zest and found myself irritated having to do the same type of massage and little opportunity to expand into other modalities. During all of this I had two babies and decided to go back to school. I pretty much gave up on massage all together. The glory of my present situation is that I am in a beautiful position to re-invent myself as a massage therapist in the way I always envisioned. I feel like great things lie ahead of me. While slowly working on becoming an RN, I plan on building a massage practice that I will continue to operate on the side while working as a nurse. This way I can continue to offer clients a holistic method of massage which incorporates a tailored and intuitive theraputic session based on the individual. If and when I become an NP, I would love very much to operate a medical clinic that provides patients of all ages with access to massage and other non-traditional treatments for stress and pain management. Likewise, I have really discovered a love for yoga and am considering becoming a certified instructor. I know it sounds like a lot, but even in my non-ambitiousness, I find myself very ambitious. I can't help myself. We'll see about the yoga instructor training. Tuition is very costly and we are not exactly rich in financial resources. Rich in other things, yes, but not in cash money. Lately however, I am rich in faith and feel my path is upon me regardless of what may appear to be road blocks.....like lack of money. Money can be a tricky illusion in the regard that having plenty and having none are both self made barriers to personal growth. Wow! I did not mean to go off on such a tangent. Oh well, its not like anyone reads this anyhow. This blog is more of a personal journal. I really meant for it to be solely about cooking with a focus on vegan diet. But, I guess it can be more. My husband's mother and aunts visited us this weekend and came with arm loads of Rudy's bar-b-que. So, we have been eating a ton of meat and are in much need of some plant focused meals. However, the BBQ was freaking delicious!!! Especially those ribs! Plus, money is tight, so we really appreciated the break from groceries and I appreciated the break from cooking. Now the BBQ is all gone and it is time to cook. This week I am going to make some fig inspired desert bars. I have a ton of figs and need to use them quick. The other day I made some homemade fig jam. It was awesome!!!
Okay, back to my paper!
BTW above photos are the costumes I made Tommy and Vivian for Halloween. Tommy refused to wear his just like last year when I made him a Munoz (from Yo Gabba Gabba) costume. Did I mention that I also double majored in Fashion Design at UT and had a brief stint doing costuming for film? But that is a whole other story not worth going into. The only relevance of sewing to my life currently is to make costumes for my children. However, I love sewing very much and let's just say my mother was never fond of my desire to make a career in the textile industry. Like I said, that is a whole other story.....one which may require time with a psycho-therapist for me to fully understand. At any rate, sewing and garment construction for me is a hobby to be explored further......ta ta! Must get back to my research paper or I may be doomed to repeat the curse of 1999...then I will never graduate! Ayeeee!
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